Wednesday, 26 September 2018

Thoughts Of An Uneasy Narcissist


I don't have a particularly interesting story about why I started blogging. I was bored, wanted a new hobby to keep me busy and thought I'd have a bash at it. When I first started, I didn't tell anyone about it for over a year. I enjoyed just writing and not worrying what anyone would think (because hardly anyone was reading lols) and I enjoyed taking some absolutely appalling photos to go along with it. 

Almost four years later and I'm still here, still blogging, but a lot has changed. I absolutely love where I am now and I'm insanely grateful to everyone who reads this blog and to the brands that have worked with me. Yet recently I've been feeling a little uneasy. I love writing, but I feel like I've possibly fallen a little bit out of love with blogging. Part of me misses how it was when I first started, when I didn't write for anyone but myself and didn't even know what self-promotion was.

These feelings of uneasiness come at a time when I'm also doing a lot of self-evaluation, which has led me to wonder whether all this writing about myself/my thoughts/my feelings and sharing it with the world just makes me plain narcissistic (a rhetorical wondering so please don't answer that...) But maybe we're all narcissists and I don't need to worry, or maybe narcissist is just a nasty way of describing someone seeking validation from others. At the end of that day, we all do that don't we?

Blogging is still a hobby for me, it's not my full-time job and I don't want it to be. Yet every week I pile on the pressure to write, photograph, Instagram, schedule tweets etc etc. They say remember why you started and well, I started because I was bored and now I'm not. 

This isn't me saying I'm stopping because I'm definitely not, but what I am going to do is go back to basics a little. Yes I want people to read my content, but I don't want to spend my time scheduling five self-promo tweets a day. Yes I want my writing and photography to be the absolute best it can be, but I don't want to stress myself out when I just don't always have the time to produce enough content.

Basically, I'm going to chill out a little bit. I'm going to be a bit more 'me' on my social media rather than a robot churning out scheduled promo stuff. I'm going to treat my blog as what it is; a hobby. And hopefully you'll still read it.

And excuse the keyboard vomit in this post (that's not a nice analogy is it?), I felt like I wanted to just write and I possibly may even hit publish.

Amy x
Share:

12 comments

  1. It's hard not to get caught up in thinking you need 'everything' when bloging as that's what the professionals due, but you're right, blogs as hobbies are completely different.

    Nothing wrong with doing your best and getting it out there, but good to remember why you started and take the pressure off a bit too! :)

    Hope you are having a good week so far :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely, it's easy to get caught up in it isn't it!
      Thanks lovely, hope you're having a good week :) xx

      Delete
  2. I felt exactly the same, and since I've taken the pressure off, blogging has started to become more enjoyable like it used to be in the beginning!


    www.natalieleanne.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you're enjoying it more, hopefully that happens to me too! xx

      Delete
  3. I can SO relate to what you're saying!! I've been trying to do the same lately and go back to basics, writing and photographing because I want to, not because I feel I should, and it's making things so much more enjoyable again.

    www.heart-autumn.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so easy to pile on the pressure and forget you're supposed to enjoy it isn't it! Hope it works for you lovely xx

      Delete
  4. I think that you definitely need to do what works for you, especially if you don't have enough time for yourself!
    Have a lovely weekend :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Need to remember it's not my job! xx

      Delete
  5. Pretty much exactly what I've done! Like I love my blog and social but it isn't my job so I'm not gonna do twitter or post on insta 4 times a day - I do what I enjoy!! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I love the writing and photography so that's what I'm gonna stick to! xx

      Delete
  6. I SO relate to this!! When I first started I didn't tell anyone and I always felt a little narcissistic as it was a style blog and I was just posting a bunch of photos of myself! haha :p
    I think a lot of people (including myself) have a phase where they question why they're doing this thing and fall out of it for a little while. Chilling out a bit and just leaning more into the fun of it sounds like a great plan and I'm sure you'll be back in love with it in no time! (I speak from experience!!)
    Have fun with it!!

    Lauren xx
    laurenloveslaughter.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love that it's fine to have a break from it cause it's not my job too! I didn't tell anyone for ages either xx

      Delete

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, I read them all so remember to tick 'Notify' if you want to see my reply!

© Call Me Amy | All rights reserved.
Blog Layout Created by pipdig