Sunday, 16 September 2018

Confidence 101

Photography: Olivia Lennon



As always, here I am writing about a subject that I don't feel fully qualified to write about. Why break the habit of a lifetime? 

I'm not the most confident person, but my confidence has massively improved in the past few years and I wanted to chat a little bit about why I think that's happened in the hopes that some other not-so confident gals (or guys) might find it useful. I hate seeing people with so little confidence because I know exactly how it feels and I also know that it doesn't have to be that way.

So, I present you with, I suppose, my confidence 101...

Fake it 'til you make it | It's a cliche, but it's true. I spent so long acting as though I was confident (despite feeling like a scrunched up ball of mush on the inside) that it took me a while to realise that somewhere in amongst my fakery was a smidge of actual real life confidence. I think it's because when your pretence gets a good response, you realise that maybe people are genuinely interested in what you have to say and that a little more confidence might get you that good response more often.

Pinpoint your insecurities | What is it that makes you doubt yourself? Although I've not always been the most confident in how I look, personality insecurities were a bigger thing for me; the fear that I was actually just really boring and that nobody cared what I had to say. Once you know what's affecting your confidence, you can start to work on that and accept it. I know I'm not the funniest or most interesting person in the world, but that's fine, I don't have to be in order to be happy and live my life.

Find your tribe | Sorry for sounding like that CBBC advert, but it's a good little slogan isn't it? I've become more selective with regards to the people I surround myself with over the years. I do like to see the good in everyone and in the past that's meant I've spent time with people who had the ability to tear me down with one simple comment. Now I only spend time with people who build me up and support me and it's bloody lovely.



Dress - Dove House Hospice (similar *aff) | Jacket - ASOS (sold out) Shoes - Boohoo (old)

Embrace your differences | When you're younger, being different is seen as a bad thing; I was certainly guilty of wearing certain things/liking certain music just to fit in with people I thought were cool. As you get older, being unique is more celebrated and it can be a bit of an shock; how do you know what makes you unique if you've been trying to fit in this whole time? The sooner you embrace what makes you different, the sooner you'll become more confident in your own skin.

Stop comparing yourself to others | We all have days where we compare ourselves to other people, we wonder why Susan is prettier than us or why Harry has more Instagram followers than us. All this does is lead to a spiral of self-doubt that is very difficult to get out of and it's only something I've stopped doing really recently. I think this is directly related to the point above; once you start embracing what makes you unique and different to other people, you won't need to compare yourself to others because, newsflash, nobody is the same. 

Find your kind of confident | We all have an idea in our heads of what a confident person looks and sounds like, but anyone can be confident. I'm not a loud person at all and I'm actually quite shy, but that doesn't mean I'm not quietly confident. Just because you don't like to shout from the rooftops that you believe in yourself doesn't mean that you don't.

Are you a confident person?

Amy x




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18 comments

  1. Such a beautiful post! Being confident is so important bur it's definitely not something that comes easily to most of us. I think that I'm definitely more confident then I was 5 years ago although there are still some areas of my life where I wish I more confidence, but I'm working on it. xo

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

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    1. It takes so much time, I'm definitely still working on it but the improvement is huge! xx

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  2. I'm not confident in the slightest, but there are certain things I can do like putting on a banging new outfit and I feel 100 times better, isn't that weird? This was such a useful post to read.

    Lucy | www.lucy-cole.co.uk

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    1. That definitely happens to me too, and the other way round - I can completely lose confidence if I'm not comfortable with what I'm wearing! xx

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  3. Great post ! I’m a big advocate of faking it, I’ve got quite good at it in fact, when I meet people they often think I am ! So in essence we have just learned I’m a bit of an actress lol xxx
    katescloset.um

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    1. Haha! Yeah I've had people question me when I've said I'm not confident because I can come across as though I am! xx

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  4. I'm more of a fake it til I make it hehe! One thing that helps me hugely when I'm full of self doubt is to jot down those thoughts swirling around my mind and the stories that accompany them. Once down on paper, they often make me laugh out loud at how ridiculously far my mind can spiral! Sending lots of love your way Amy xx

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    1. I've never thought to do that but that's a great idea! Some of the doubts that I have really are laughable! xx

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  5. These are great tips! I find fake it till you make it can work well for small bursts of time! (Like in a big scary meeting, haha!)

    I really like your dress too, what a cute piece! Lovely print :)

    I hope that you had a great weekend! The weather was lovely here, but it's quite cold again today.

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    1. Yeah that definitely works in small bursts, then I find if that goes well it just builds it up! Thanks lovely, hope you had a good weekend :) xx

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  6. Ah,if we could all stop comparing ourselves with others, life would be so much better!

    Mariya | www.brunetteondemand.com

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    1. The comparison trap is just awful isn't it! xx

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  7. I just love it when you find a post that feels like you could've written it yourself! I bloody love this and agree so much with what you're saying - faking it till you make it always works. (also: these photos are gorgeous!) xx

    heart-autumn.co.uk

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    1. Thanks so much lovely! (Also I feel like that all the time with your posts!) XX

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  8. These are really great tips! I am not naturally confident person, so I have to remind myself to not worry about other people and focus on being true to myself. I really love that you shared this and you look so beautiful in your pictures. I hope you had a lovely weekend <3

    -PerlaGiselle | iamperlita.com
    instagram

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    1. Thank you so much :) hope you had a lovely weekend too! xx

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  9. Great post and pictures too! I totally agree with embracing your differences, we are all individual and that's not a bad thing!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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  10. First of all, gorgeous photography - such great colours! Secondly, you've listed some great points here, particularly pinpointing your insecurities so that you can start to work on them :)

    aglassofice.com x

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