Wednesday, 23 May 2018

How I'm Trying To Be A Better Friend




For a long time I think I've happily floated through life, safe in the knowledge that I have some very good friends for life, but I think that's a fact I've kind of taken for granted. I've not always been the best at keeping in touch and definitely haven't been the best at making sure my friends are OK; don't get me wrong, I'm an excellent listener, but previously I've only really listened when spoken to rather than striking up any sort of conversation myself surrounding my friends' well being. It feels like we're bombarded with tips on how to keep our romantic relationships healthy, how to make them last and how to make our partner happy, but it's only recently that I've come to realise that I should be putting the same amount of effort into my friendships as I do into my relationship. Here are some ways I'm trying to be a better friend:

C H E C K I N G  I N  M O R E  O F T E N  |  We're all busy adults with busy lives; we all have work, weekend to-do lists, fitness regimes and the need for some chill time every now and then so it's easy to let weeks, sometimes even months pass by without even checking in with the people we care about. It's mainly because we don't realise how much time has passed; I know that I for one am awful for thinking 'I must message so-and-so this week' for multiple weeks in a row until I finally get round to it (or until they do so first, leaving me feeling like the worst friend ever). So this is a vow to check in with my nearest and dearest more often because if I've got time to play Hogwarts Mystery I've definitely got time to send a message.

D I R E C T  Q U E S T I O N S  | As someone who finds it rather difficult to open up and who generally tends to keep her feelings to herself, I know how easy it is to brush off a 'how are you?' with a 'I'm OK' so apologies to all my friends who may become annoyed by my specific probing questions, but I'm going to start asking more direct questions; think more along the lines of 'how are you feeling about...?' etc etc. Asking a more direct question is opening up the arena for them to talk about something if they want to without them having to bring it up (or alternatively they can shut me down and that's fine too).




M A K I N G  T I M E   As I said above, we're all busy adults with busy lives, but if I can find time to watch three episodes of Married At First Sight in a row, I can find time to see my friends. I suppose it's the same as checking in with a message; weeks can go by without seeing someone. Aside from my best one in New Zealand (because there's the slight snag that we can't actually afford to see each other in person), I'm going to be making much more time to meet up with friends even if it's just for a coffee.

M A K I N G  M Y S E L F  V U L N E R A B L E  As I mentioned above (and as I've mentioned multiple times before on this blog because #introvertproblems), I don't find it easy to open up. But if I'm expecting my friends to open up to me, I owe them the same in return don't I? So I'm making a promise to myself to talk more openly and honestly with my friends and realise that listening to each other is essentially what we're there for.

How do you think you could be a better friend?

Amy x


Photos: Sophie
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10 comments

  1. Great tips, I think it's so essential as we get older to make an effort to keep our friendships important!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. Definitely, especially as we get older and busier! Thanks for reading Rosanna :) xx

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  2. What a lovely concept! I love your idea of digging a little deeper and asking more direct questions, sometimes that's all it takes to encourage someone to open up more about how they've been feeling :) Hope you're having a lovely week so far Amy!

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

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    1. I know that helps me so however nosy it might make me seem I'm going to start doing it if it might help them open up :) xx

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  3. I've definitely found it much harder to be a good friend the older I've got. Since getting married and moving all the way up to Newcastle I find it so difficult to find the time to check in with everyone - my friends live all over the country and time passes so fast it's easy to forget that you haven't dropped them a line for a while, it sounds awful! I need to work harder!

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    1. Yeah it's so hard when people are scattered all over! My best friend lives in New Zealand so that's difficult! xx

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  4. Hello
    I enjoyed knowing that you're trying to be a best friend of your friends, look how they are so rare that we should treat them well. But I already had friends whom I treated very well and who abandoned me when I needed them most, and I discovered that they were not my friends just used me ...
    xoxo

    marisasclosetblog.com

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    1. That's such a shame I'm sorry to hear you've been treated that way! It's important to know who your real friends are :) xx

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  5. Your striped top is lovely! Good advice too, real friendships are something to be treasured :)

    Hope that you have been having a lovely week and you have a great weekend ahead of you! :)

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    1. Thank you so much! Hope you had a lovely weekend xx

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