Sunday, 22 January 2017

An Open Letter to My Disabled Sister


Dear Bethany, 

You will never read this because you can't read and if someone read it to you you wouldn't understand most of it anyway (or be interested enough to listen for that matter!), but I felt like I wanted to write this down. If I can't tell you all the things I want to tell you then I can at least write them down so everyone else knows! I wish there was some way I could explain to you that you're the most important person in the world to me and I'd do anything for you, but I'm pretty sure you do know that you're loved and I'm glad that you know that, I just wish you knew how much. Although you definitely know that you have most people wrapped around your little finger (if you could teach me how you do that that'd be great) so maybe that means that you do know.

I also wish you knew how sorry I am. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer so much in your life and that you still and always will have to suffer. I wish I could take that away, but all I can do is be there for you when you do. I hate that you don't understand why, but you take it all in your stride and to you it's just part of your life and you get on with it. You're the strongest person I know. I'm also sorry if I've ever been selfish and not put you first. I'm much better at putting you first now I'm older, but I'm not sure if I always did when I was younger. I'm sorry if there were times people said mean things and I didn't stick up for you and I'm sorry if I was ever embarrassed by you being noisy in public because sometimes when lots of people stared, I was. I'm not now because if people are really so ignorant that they're surprised to see someone with learning difficulties out and about then maybe they should stare so they can learn a bit more about you. I'm so glad that you aren't aware that people stare and if you were aware I know you wouldn't care anyway because nothing phases you, plus you'd stare back twice as hard!

I also want to say thank you, because without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. You've made me more selfless, more caring and more patient (sitting through meal times with you has sure made me patient!) and you've also given me the chance to love unconditionally. Thank you for loving me unconditionally too. You don't know or care what my job is, what I like to watch on TV or that I have this blog. All you know and care about is that I'm your sister and that's so unbelievably refreshing to be judged solely on loving and being there for someone.

My favourite thing is seeing you smile and laugh and my least favourite thing is seeing you unhappy or unwell. Luckily, you're smiling and laughing more often than not and I'm grateful for that. I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I think I've managed to say everything I'd want to tell you if I could.

Amy x
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66 comments

  1. This was so beautifully written and such a lovely post xxxx

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    1. Thank you so much Tasha, I'm so glad you think so :) xx

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  2. Amy that's so lovely. I have tears in my eyes! Lots of love to you and your sister xxxxxxx

    Lucylovesbeautyxo.com

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    1. Aw Lucy thank you! I'm sorry you have tears in your eyes! xx

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  3. That's such a sweet letter Amy, I'm sure she knows how much you love her.

    Tania || www.taniaalexandraribeiro.com
    xx

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    1. Thanks so much Tania, I do hope so! xx

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    1. Aw thanks Zoe and thank you for reading xx

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  5. Amy you sweetheart! I'm sure that Bethany can tell how much you love her! ❤️ You sound like an incredibly selfless and caring person, I'm sure that you're an endless source of support and happiness not just to your sister but to your whole family!

    Abbey 🌟 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Aw thanks Abbey that's the loveliest comment, you've been so lovely today! xx

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  6. Such a beautifully written post <3 I am sure Bethany knows how much you love her and care for her!

    Steph xx

    Steph's World | Lifestyle Blog | www.stephsworld.com

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    1. Thanks so much Steph, yes I hope so! xx

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  7. This was so sweet! My mother suffers from mental illness so I know how hard it can be. But I'm sure she can feel your love ❤️.

    Shawn Bethea
    Blogger | IBD Advocate
    Web: MoreSpoons.com
    Twitter | Instagram: @ShawnBethea_

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    1. Thank you, that must be really hard to deal with! xx

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  8. This was so beautiful to read! I´m really fascinated by how the people around disabled people deal with it all. You and your family must be so strong! As much as I can take away from my psychology classes I can telly you that your sister definitely knows that she is loved! She might not be able to put it into words or tell you how much she loves and appreciates you but she definitely does!
    I´m wishing you and your family just the best of the world!
    xx Lisa | Following Lisa

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    1. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! xx

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  9. This was so so beautiful to read lovely! You sound like such an amazing and caring person. Sending lots of love and wishes to your family xxx

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    1. Aw thank you, that's just the nicest comment :) xx

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  10. What a beautiful post, you and your sister have a truly special bond and anyone would be lucky to have you as a sister. Also, your sister sounds like an incredibly strong woman and I am sure she knows how much you love her - even if she could read, love is something that is difficult to put into words but you can feel it if you're surrounded by it. xx

    113thingstosay.com

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    1. Thank you so much Mira - that is such a lovely comment and I love what you've said about how you can feel it if you're surrounded by it <3 xx

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  11. You made me nearly cry beautiful Amy she is so proud of you she may not be able to tell you but she is proud of everything that you have achieved. Your amazing you didn't have to share this post with us yet you choose to open up.

    Charlotte x

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    1. Thank you so much Charlotte - sorry I nearly made you cry! xx

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  12. This gave me all the feels! It literally felt as though you had reached in and grabbed my heart. Beautifully written x

    www.sheintheknow.co.uk

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    1. Aw thank you so much Rebecca, I'm getting so many lovely comments! xx

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  13. And now I'm in tears. So many of them. My aunt is severely disabled and like your wonderful sister can't read/understand a thing, and I feel like reading this is my Mum talking about her. There is nothing she wouldn't do for her! What you and your sister have is so beyond special, she knows how much you love her my lovely, she'll feel it <3

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

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    1. Oh nooo sorry for making you cry! I'm glad it resonated with you so much lovely, I bet the bond between your mum and aunt is a lovely one to see <3 xxx

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  14. Oh Amy this got me. Such a beautiful post and your sister is also so lucky to have you. Have a lovely day and start to your week.

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. Aw thank you so much Gemma! Hope you have a great week xx

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  15. This is so beautiful Amy, you can really tell every word comes from your heart. I've no doubt your sister knows how much you love her, and how sweet to find the ways she's made you a better person :)

    aglassofice.com
    x

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    1. Thank you Gabrielle, she has definitely made me a better person! xx

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  16. That's so beautiful and poignant... and I am sure that Bethany knows that you love her. Love doesn't need to be conveyed in words, but with attitudes, and love is understood by the soul. So I am sure that you both love each other and you know that. I am also sure that without her you wouldn't be the way you are now and if sometimes you were ashamed, don't feel guilty, we are just humans. We tend to follow what society dictates, it means, we are have to be perfect - but your sister is a perfect human being, just not like other understand as perfection. It was beautiful and refreshing to read your post. Today I read something that was really shocking, people who see clothes and beauty products as top priorities, and badmouth others if they don't have the same opinion. I nearly ended my blog, since I felt I couldn't condone with this insane view. Then I read your post and I could see that there are people with feelings and who know that makeup is a complement, not the cure of cancer. I am really happy that you wrote this amazing post! Hope you have a very nice week!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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    1. Oh I'm glad you didn't end your blog! There are lots of us bloggers that are about more than that :) I love the way you phrased it about not like others understand as perfection, that's beautiful! xx

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  17. Oh my gosh - this is one of the sweetest posts I've ever read!! Life is such a strange thing and the only thing that matters in the end is our family and the people in our lives - it doesn't matter who we are, what we wear or how much we have, all that matters is that we keep our families close to us and appreciate everyone in our life and to make sure we share the love and make sure everyone knows that….

    I absolutely love the post and I'm sure your sister is as proud of you as you are of her - there's something really special when it comes to a sisterly bond and it's beautiful!

    Wishing you a wonderful week gorgeous!
    Layla xx

    http://www.sprinklesofstyle.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment Layla! xx

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  18. Are you accepting applications for an adopted sister?!! You're so kind and your sister is lucky to have you xx

    Blessings,
    Edye | Gracefulcoffee.com

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    1. Haha aw of course, there's always room for one more! xx

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  19. This was absolutely beautiful. You really tugged at my heart strings. I'm sure Bethany knows just how much you love her and you are an incredible amazing sister. Sending lots of love and wishes to you and your family. xo

    Ann-Marie | http://facetocurls.com

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    1. Thank you so much Ann-Marie, totally overwhelmed by the response to this post! xx

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  20. This was so beautifully written, Amy! It brought me close to tears :)

    www.wildfirecharm.com

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    1. Thank you so much lovely, sorry ha ha! xx

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  21. such a lovely blog post!!

    www.londonstylegirl.com

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    1. Thank you so much and thanks for reading :) xx

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  22. I just found your blog and I love it already!! This post was absolutely beautiful! So heartfelt and amazing! xx
    http://jasminelaurenfancy.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Aw thank you, I'm glad you've discovered it, hope you come back :) xx

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  23. Aww baby!! u touched me so much with this leeter I hope she gets to read it shes so lucky to have a sis like u. I'm the only child :( Thank you so much for sharing this with us! Happy New Year to you and your family!! Dominica from London, www.its-dominica.blogspot.co.uk xXx

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    1. Aw thank you, she can't read so unfortunately won't get to read it! xx

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  24. What a lovely letter and I'm glad that you get to see her smiling and laughing often. Family is so important (something I've discovered so much more this past week after suffering a painful bereavement) and I'm happy that you both care so much for each other.
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. Aw I'm so sorry to hear that you've suffered a bereavement Rosanna, lots of love to you and your family xxx

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  25. Oh lady, this post was just so, so beautifully written and so incredibly touching! I absolutely felt every word with you, and I know that deep down you sister truly understands just how much you adore her! I'm so glad that she's happy and smiling, more times than not - and that she brings so much happiness to your life lovely lady!

    Hayley xo
    www.frockmeimfamous.com

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    1. Thank you so much Hayley, she definitely brings a lot of happiness to my life :) xx

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  26. This is beautiful, I almost cried <3 What a lovely post, Amy, thank you so much for sharing! You're an incredible sister.

    www.lovefrommaira.co.uk

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    1. Aw thank you Maira, the response to this post has been amazing :) xx

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  27. So beautifully written, I almost cried. What a lovely post this was, I felt every word you wrote. Thank you for sharing xxxx
    Rachel | www.rachelxblog.com

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    1. Aw thank you so much Rachel, I'm glad you thought so :) xx

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  28. Thanks for making me cry Amy, gawd :P! Haha, no but seriously...this is super beautiful and written from the heart! Go you! :) Sending love to your & your sister!

    Style Sunrise☀

    :)
    x

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    1. Oops sorry! Thank you so much lovely lady xx

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    1. Thanks so much Emma, the response has been overwhelming! xx

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  30. Amy this post is beautiful! You and your sister are lucky to have such a special bond, I'm sure she adores you just as much x

    Sick Chick Chic

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    1. Thank you so much Josie, we do adore each other :) xx

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  31. The bond between your sister and yourself is truly incredible. It makes me so angry and breaks my heart at the same time when people poke fun at people with disabilities. It doesn't hurt to be nice to people and having a disability doesn't define you or make you any less of a person. I'm sure Bethany is a beautiful soul inside and out. Thank you for sharing your story and big hugs to you both!

    Sian x
    http://theenglisheverygirl.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. She definitely is beautiful inside and out :) Thanks so much for a lovely comment Sian xx

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  32. This is such a wonderfully, beautiful written blog post babe. Thank you so much for sharing 💗✨

    With love, Alisha Valerie. x
    www.AlishaValerie.com | www.twitter.com/AlishaValerie

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    1. Thank you so much that really means a lot <3 xx

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  33. What a beautiful post Amy!! :) This did get me crying a little! <3 x

    Victoria | VictoriaaHelenn

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    1. Thank you so much Victoria and thank you for reading :) xx

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