Just say no
How many times have you gone out with friends when really you'd rather have stayed home? How many times have you agreed to do something at work that you really didn't want to? How many things can you count that you only do because you feel obligated?
I've recently learned to say no...and shockingly, the world doesn't end when I do. Nobody hates me for saying no, I haven't lost out on any opportunities at work and I sure feel a lot happier.
For years I've been a 'yes' girl. Yes to every single outing my friends are going on because I didn't want to miss out, even if I couldn't really afford to or was super tired. Yes to absolutely everything work-wise because I was desperate to be hired permanently and wanted to earn as much money as I could. Yes to so many things that I didn't want to do. I think a phobia of saying no is something a lot of people can relate to.
I'm not saying you should be completely selfish and only please yourself, but trying to do everything and please everyone is exhausting, which is really not good for you. So once in a while, say no. If you'd rather stay in on a Saturday night, save a bit of money and have a bit of relaxing 'you time' then do that. If you'd rather not do some overtime at work because you've been there for 10 hours already and don't think you can face anymore, then don't. Saying no is easier than you might think and people understand because sometimes they want to say no too.
I haven't completely changed my ways - I can't stop the stab of guilt I feel when I tell a friend I'm not going out and I still do most of the overtime I'm offered at work. But because I bit the bullet and said no a couple of times, it now feels like I have the option instead of feeling obligated.
It's all about finding a happy medium and I think I'm well on my way to finding mine. I hope you manage to find yours too whether you're a 'yes' girl like I was or whether you actually need to say yes more often.
Is a fear of saying no something you can relate to?