There is so much emphasis on mothers making sure they're taking care of themselves (happy mum happy baby and all that), but very little advice out there on how to actually do so. They say you can't pour from an empty cup, but I don't think that's necessarily true. As a parent you continually pour from your cup, however full or empty it may be. But obviously yes, it is important to make sure you take care of yourself.
For me, self care is the first thing to drop off the end of my to do list. It often (almost always) seems impossible to fit in looking after a toddler, maintaining relationships, trying to earn some form of income, keeping a clean and tidy(ish) house, exercising (what even is that?) and having some sort of social life. You can see why it's self care that drops off the list.
What I've gradually come to learn is that there are small ways I can work self care into my week and that it doesn't haven't to look like what it used to. Gone are the days of long leisurely baths, lazing around in front of the telly in the morning or enjoying a coffee to myself in a cafe. But there are less extravangant ways I can show myself some self care. This is what self care as a busy parent is for me:
It's taking the time to do a proper skincare routine at the end of the day.
It's choosing to sit down and put my feet up for five minutes while my toddler has a nap.
It's creating moments with my toddler that fill my cup just as much as his; baking together, getting out and about in nature, having a little coffee date together.
It's making sure I get outside for some fresh air every day.
It's the moment when everyone else is downstairs and I choose to sit and scroll on my phone instead of putting the washing away.
It's reading a chapter of my book in bed before I go to sleep every night.
It's making sure I keep myself properly hydrated throughout the day.
It's having proper conversations with people whenever I can.
It's a little time spent reflecting on the life I have and appreciating how lucky I am.
And I'm sure it's more than those things and it will certainly be different things for everyone, but they're what spring to mind immediately for me. I went from initially feeling like self care as a parent was not something I would never have time for to realising I was gradually carving out little moments for it as time went on. I have faith that those moments will only get bigger as my child does.
So if you're a new parent in the chaotic throes of the early days, you will find time for yourself again. It will look a little different, but it will fill up your cup enough for you to keep on going.
Amy x
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