Putting Yourself First // When Is It Okay?


We're taught from a young age that in order to be a kind, selfless and generally good human being, we should put others before ourselves. The concept is really rather lovely; put others first and you'll be rewarded by them putting you first too, meaning everybody is happy and we'll live in a world full of bunny rabbits and rainbows.

So for years I've lived by that rule; agreeing to plans when I'd really rather have a night in, accepting overtime to cover for someone at work even if it means exhausting myself, listening to other people's problems without boring them with mine.

Despite the fact that I may have neglected to look after myself for the sake of other people every now and then, putting others first makes me feel good. Put simply, it's nice to be nice isn't it?

But sometimes it takes a bit of a kick to realise that actually, shocker, it's alright to put yourself first too.

There comes a point where you've put other people before yourself for so long that you hit a wall; you have nothing left to give because you've given it all away already without taking the time to replenish yourself.

They say you have to look after yourself before looking after other people and I think that may just be true. If you're not happy yourself then how can you make other people happy?

So in answer to the question posed in the title of this post; it's okay to put yourself first whenever you need to.

Believe it or not, you can still be a good person even when you put yourself first. You can still give to others without running yourself into the ground.

Like everything else in life, it's about that ever elusive balance. We probably won't find it or get it completely right, but we can try to do our best, not only for others, but for ourselves too.


Photos: Ashton Gibbs
Hull, UK

16 comments

  1. Very wise words! I think we're often led to believe that we're not kind people unless we put others before ourselves, but it's truly not the case. I'll admit, it's something I've been figuring out the hard way for myself lately as well! Hope you're having a fabulous week so far, Amy! :)

    aglassofice.com x

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    1. I'm always working things out the hard way! I'm glad you agree though :) xx

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  2. I really agree with this and it's not something I have thought about much before. It's important, but we often to forget to put ourselves first. Great subject!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. Thanks so much Rosanna, hope you're having a lovely week! xx

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  3. I love this post! People always thing it's selfish to make yourself a priority, but I actually think it's the opposite. I mean, how can you be the best you can be and have the best relationships with others if your own relationship isn't great?!

    xoxo
    Jess
    The Crown Wings | UK Travel & Lifestyle Blog

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    1. Exactly! We need to be kind to ourselves before we can give our best to others! xx

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  4. I always put people first and I get hurt when they don't do the same for me. I learned to manage my time now and after all the issues that I've encountered I chose to always put myself first and consider my happiness first. This is a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)

    xoxo,
    SHAIRA
    www.missdream-girl.blogspot.com

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    1. That's great that you've managed to get that balance right and focus on your own happiness :) xx

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  5. This is such a thoughtful piece Hun, I find myself asking when is it best to put myself first all the time! x

    Grace Louise || www.gracelouiseofficial.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you lovely! It's tricky to find the balance isn't it! xx

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  6. Love your red shoes as a pop of colour! :) And it's so true too, we can't pour from an empty cup, we need to take care of ourselves so we can help others! :)

    I just posted my weekday wear linkup, I'd love you to join! :)

    Hope that you had a wonderful weekend :)


    Away From Blue

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    1. Thanks so much lovely! Hope you're having a lovely week! xx

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  7. You look so cute!
    xx- Nina

    http://www.stylingwithnina.com/2019/06/floral-kimono-duster-summer-look.html

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  8. When you are calm and relaxed it is much easier to deal with anything that life throws at you, and to become calm it is often necessary to put yourself first, often by saying no.
    Leland West

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    1. I definitely agree, you can't be good to other people if you're not good to yourself!

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