Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Planning A Wedding When You Don't Like Attention


Weddings are lovely aren't they? The moment the bride walks down the aisle and everyone oooh and aaahs at how beautiful she looks before training their eyes on the groom to gauge his reaction and hope they can spy the odd tear. Smiling along to the groom's speech as he sings the bride's praises. Waiting with bated breath to hear what song they've chosen as their first dance before collectively sighing an 'awww' when they start singing the lyrics to each other.

I hadn't really considered what it might feel like to actually be the bride and groom in any of these situations until I started planning my own wedding. Both Nick and I hate being the centre of attention so planning our wedding has been a bit of a tricky one because we will, undeniably, be centre of attention on that day. What we've tried to do is make the day as relaxed as possible so we'll hopefully feel at ease and we've opted out of some of the wedding traditions where we'd be more in the spotlight and would just be totally uncomfortable (seeya later first dance). So, in case you're like us too, I thought I'd share a few pointers because weddings really aren't made for those of us who'd rather be in the background are they?

G U E S T S  |  It felt important to me to only invite people we'd met (so no random plus ones we didn't know) and to keep the guest list fairly small so we wouldn't feel overwhelmed. Our guest list ended up at around 70, which isn't exactly minimal, but it's not huge either and it's made up of people we feel comfortable around and know quite well. Most of these people also know us quite well and they'll know that we won't want a fuss made of us. A guest list is a hard part of planning a wedding - do you invite you friend's new boyfriend you've never met? How can you invite this person without offending another? Having simple rules helps and, at the end of the day, people care much less than you think they do whether they're invited to your wedding or not.

V I B E  |  We didn't really want our wedding to feel like a wedding, more like a summer party at which we just happen to be getting married. This means we've kept our whole vibe very relaxed. Our venue is very DIY and in a way fairly minimalist so we can do what we want with it and I know the owner so feel at ease with her. We're not having a very formal meal, a friend from work is taking a few snaps and people are camping afterwards (including us) in a big field behind the venue so it'll hopefully just be very laid back!

T R A D I T I O N S  |  As I mentioned, we've done away with quite a few traditions that just didn't feel very 'us'. We're not having speeches, we're not having a first dance and we're not having any posed photos. I personally love watching other people's first dances but I know we'd hate every second of having everyone's eyes on us. I think it's important to not feel any pressure to include certain things in your day just because they're the generally done thing. It's your wedding remember!


Are there any traditions you'd do away with?

Amy x
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20 comments

  1. You've made so many points here that I are totally understandable, especially not wanting +1's when you've never met them before in your life! Especially when they take the place of someone else you may have liked to invite, but not had enough room for initially. You have SUCH beautiful handwriting by the way, those invitations look dreamy!!

    aglassofice.com x

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    1. Aw thank you, I designed them but it is a font not my handwriting haha! xx

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  2. Such a great post. I would feel the same about the plus ones too. I love your invitations Amy.

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. yeah, definitely just want people I know there! xx

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  3. It sounds beautiful! Definitely best to plan it your way in your style, some of the traditions are so silly and definitely don't suit every couple x

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    1. Yeah, it's mad when you don't even know why they're done too! xx

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  4. This was so good to read! :) Even though my wedding was quite a while again now, we struggled with the first dance thing, we just did a slow shuffle, ha! No pretty dancing photos. I took great delight in letting anyone else who wanted to speak do a speech so I didn't have to face it. While it was just a small wedding and friends and family we knew well, I still wasn't up to speaking in front of that many people, haha. I had hubby say our thanks for us both after his very touching speech.

    Hope you are having a wonderful week. The heatwave continues here unfortunately, so uncomfortable!

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    1. Aw I think I would be just like that with the first dance so I'm glad we've opted out haha! Hope the heatwave finishes soon!xx

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  5. A summer party vibe sounds much more relaxing - a great plan!!
    Have a lovely weekend :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. I'm so looking forward to it! Thanks Rosanna xx

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  6. I've never thought about some of these traditions and whether or not I would actually like them. I definitely agree with you about the plus one's. And thinking about everyone looking at me while I dance haha no thank you. You're wedding sounds like it's going to be really fun and chilled out, can't wait to hear how it goes!

    Shann Eileen | www.shanneileen.com

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    1. I hadn't either until we started planning! Thank you, hopefully it will be really chilled out I can't wait :) xx

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  7. I am not personally into traditions except cultural ones. I do a lot of weddings and sometimes it's overwhelming for couple to try to do what everyone expects them to do. These are good and respective points here, overall the most important thing is to do what you (as a couple) want to do.
    FASHION TALES

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    1. It is overwhelming definitely! And yeah, it's your wedding after all :) xx

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  8. I'm in the same boat at the moment as I've been putting off planning our wedding for the same reason! I'd say Adam is quite a bit shyer than me so I tend to overcompensate but I really want to relax and enjoy our big day! I had never thought about taking out some traditions to make you both feel more comfortable and I'll definitely bare that in mind! Ooh can't wait to see your upcoming wedding posts Amy!
    Jaz
    xoxo
    http://www.thelifeofasocialbutterfly.co.uk

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    1. Ah really, yeah it's so important to be able to relax so I'd definitely bear it in mind - remember it's your day! xx

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  9. Your wedding plans sound amazing and I think it's great that you got rid of some traditions that didn't feel like 'you' - it's supposed to be your day after all and you should plan it exactly the way you want to. I don't think there will be a first dance at my wedding either and I'll keep the posed photos to a minimum - fun fact: a pigeon shat on my mum's wedding dress when she had her photos taken so if that's not a sign I don't know what is haha. xx

    113thingstosay.com

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    1. Oh my god haha! Yes definitely no posed wedding photos if that's going to happen! xx

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  10. Hi, Amy! I saw your blog URL from one of the comments in Abbey's blog, so I thought I'd drop by! :)

    Your wedding planning ideas are totally brilliant! :) It really is a good idea to invite people who know you both. While traditions are good, for me, they're just guidelines (in a way), and people should be free to do what they feel comfortable doing--hope that makes sense!

    All the best wishes for you and your wedding planning! :)

    Layla | http://legallyunblondeandbeyond.inspirelight.net

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    1. Ah thank you! Yeah it's definitely a good idea to think of them as guidelines! Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you popped by and hope you will again! xx

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