Sunday, 8 April 2018

I'm A Bride To Be, But Mostly I'm Amy




Dress - Missguided via Asos (here) | Bag - Fiorelli | Jacket - Noisy May via Asos (here)

The moment we got engaged, I wasn't just Amy anymore, I was 'a bride-to-be' and it would appear that sudden loss of identity comes with certain expectations, set ways you should behave and, if all goes to plan, not only a perfect day that everyone will congratulate you on organising, but a perfectly poised walk down the aisle with everyone gasping in awe at your transformation into some sort of flawless goddess. And that last point is the one that everyone focuses on the most; have you ever been to a wedding where people haven't been speculating about the bride's dress/hair/makeup before she arrives? I don't think I've been to a wedding where I haven't been asked my opinion on the bride's dress by at least one person. So naturally, that becomes the thing you obsess over the most because you know that's the thing you'll be predominantly judged on.


Generally, I'm comfortable with who I am and I don't care all that much about what other people think of how I look or what I wear, but there's something about the idea of walking down the aisle with 70 pairs of eyes on me that's got me a little bit on edge. That's 70 pairs of eyes forming an opinion on my dress, 70 pairs of eyes wondering whether I've done my own hair and makeup (spoiler: the answer is yes) and 70 pairs of eyes that will stay on me from that moment until the end of the night (I mean, OK, not constantly, but you get my drift).





As a bride-to-be there's a preconception that on your wedding day you'll look the very best you ever have and the very best you probably ever will and this builds up a pressure to look perfect that is rarely spoken about. And this is where I've been trying very hard to not lose my identity and become 'a bride-to-be' instead of Amy. I found a dress that I completely and utterly love and is so inherently 'me' yet I've still been looking at other, fancier dresses and wondering if I'd look more 'bridal' in them. I know how I'm having my hair and again, it's me down to a t, but there's a little niggling voice asking me whether I should get it done at the hairdressers instead of doing it myself. I'm also doing my own makeup and I'm not going to suddenly plaster my face with more than I would usually, but that makes me worry that I'll just look the same as I do everyday.

The only reason I'm worrying is because I'm buying into the concept of the 'bride-to-be' and how she should want to look, how society expects her to look. The last time we were at a wedding I even said to Nick 'you do realise that on our wedding day, I'm just going to look like me?' which, looking back, is pretty ridiculous because why would I not want to look like me? The only reason I've been feeling any of the insecurities above is because I've been thinking about other people, I've been influenced by the media and I haven't been considering me. The fact is I'm Amy and, bride-to-be or not, I'm going to look exactly how I want to look. The fact that I'll feel comfortable and like 'me' will be the exact reason why I'll not only feel beautiful, but look beautiful because when you feel happy and confident that's what people see.





Do you think you'd feel /did you feel pressure to look a certain way as a bride?

Amy x

Photos: Nick Horton







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25 comments

  1. great as always :)

    http://itsmetijana.blogspot.rs/

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  2. I totally agree; the more comfortable you are on your wedding day, the more relaxed and beautiful you'll look! Also, there may be 70 pairs of eyes on you come your special day, but try to remember they're all people you've invited and people that love and support you. I've no doubt you wedding day will be wonderful babe! :)

    aglassofice.com x

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    1. That's very true - must remember it's not a room of randomers haha! I can't wait really :) xx

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  3. I definitely agree with my blog sister Gabrielle. It is your wedding and at the end of the day, do what you're okay with. Yes the pressure is real, but when you're comfortable, you'll be in a good spirit.
    Great shots here by the way and you look great in that dress.

    https://www.missymayification.co.uk

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    1. I think I will feel great on the day, thank you so much! xx

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  4. First, I love your floral dress. It's beautiful with the denim jacket and this location is a great backdrop!

    I had a hard time picking my wedding dress, I saw so many pretty ones but in the end I wanted one that made me feel comfortable. I love the one I went with in the end, it was perfect. Took a lot of trial and error to get there, and a lot of debating over hairstyle too. I don't like my hair up so needed to wear it down, it was good to find a hairdresser that could work with that :) At the end of the day, like everything else with the wedding, you want what you wear and look like to be a reflection of you, so don't stress too much. The guest's approval doesn't matter in the end!

    Hope you have had a brilliant weekend :) We had a busy one, some Church Online people flew over from the US so the weekend was full of activities, we had a party at my place last night which was fun!

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    1. Thank you so much! I bet you looked gorgeous on your wedding day, I really can't wait for mine now! Sounds like an excellent weekend, I ended it a bit ill but better now :) xx

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  5. Love this post! I too am a ‘bride to be’ (who also happens to be freelancing for a bridal title right now!) and the pressure is unreal. I’m off for my second hair trial soon as I gave into pressure and didn’t ask for what I really wanted. I love my dress so much but have been kept awake at night wondering what people will think and if it’s ‘enough’. Oh and for me the pressure begins from the question ‘can I see the ring?’ Shortly after you’ve said yes! It’s just another thing you can be judged on.
    But all your soon to be husband will want to see is YOU on the day, so by staying true to yourself you’re 100% doing the right thing

    Emily-Alice xxx

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    1. Yes I felt judged on the ring too! Thank you so much - make sure you feel comfortable too, I'm so happy to hear you went back for your hair trial, hope you've got something sorted that you really love now xx

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  6. Amazing post, dear! A big hello from Germany!
    Hugs ♥
    LianaLaurie

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  7. This might be one of my favourite ever post titles. It's so true how we can lose our sense of self in these moments, but you are showing the perfect response! After all, your partner fell in love with AMY and that is the girl they want to see walking down the aisle, white dress or not. I hope you have the most magical day being AMY. Writing your own story <3

    Bumble and Be

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    1. Thank you so much! Exactly - I'm not going to suddenly not be me on my wedding day! xx

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  8. I think that it's such a great attitude to have, it's your day and you shouldn't have to worry about what other people think or expect from you!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. Thanks Rosanna - it's definitely important to stay true to yourself all the time :) xx

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  9. Amy these photos are incredible! I love the dress so much.

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. Thanks so much Gemma! It's definitely going to be a spring fave xx

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  10. Congrats on your engagement.
    You look amazing in this dress

    Much Love, Jane | The Bandwagon Chic
    New Vlog Entry!

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    1. Thank you so much! It's my new fave :) xx

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  11. I haven't thought about this perspective from brides as I'm always just attending weddings! I think it's a great idea to just be more on you. To not lose yourself on what you think people expect you to be vs who you are/ who you want to be.

    Oh, and congratulations on the engagement!

    xx, Richel V. | Richel Goes Places

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    1. Thank you! I feel like until I got engaged I'd definitely been guilty on viewing brides as 'brides' rather than themselves! xx

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  12. Totally understand this! I'm getting married next April and I'm having trouble thinking realistically about how I'll look and what I'll be acting like. In my head, I'm going to be a peachy, ethereal princess but let's face it, I'm gonna be nervous, crying and probably sweaty! haha

    I think the main thing is to remember why you're doing it. This day is yours. You own it and make it the best day of your life. And if it isn't - don't worry. You still have the moneymoon to look forward to :)

    Katie aka. Bridezilcho
    http://bridezilcho.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yeah at the end of the day I'm going to be me, not anyone else! And I'm looking more forward to the honeymoon haha. Congratulations on your engagement! xx

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  13. Loving your style! You are so chic. Would you like to follow for follow on Bloglovin? :)

    Xx,

    http://beatricebalaj.com/

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  14. I think it's normal to have these worries but the main thing to do things that you truly want to do, it's easy to get swept up in the perfect pinterest wedding but you both want to look back on your day and remember it was your day! On our wedding, I didn't have a fancy dress and did my own makeup but I was happy and that's what matters. I also shoot wedding videos for a living so the more comfortbale and relaxed the bride, the more fun you'll have!

    Best of luck Amy xx

    Hanh |
    hanhabelle

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    1. Thank you so much for this comment! I definitely think I'll feel more relaxed and happy on the day just doing things the way I'm comfortable with! xx

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