Sunday, 14 January 2018

To The Friendships We Leave Behind


Recently someone I used to be best friends with got engaged. I was so happy for her, just as happy as I would have been if we were still really good friends and I was also kinda sad that I could only be happy for her and not be happy with her. It got me thinking about friendship and all the potential friends for life I've let go along the way. 

When we're younger we have a very idealised view of friendship. At school I had quite a lot of close friends and I assumed that I could stay close friends with them all because why wouldn't I? In reality, there's only room in our lives for so many people and along the rickety path that is life we lose relationships for various reasons. Some people we let go because they're not good for us, they don't make us the best version of ourselves and the friendship isn't actually there anymore. But this post isn't about those ones. This post is for the friendships that fell by the wayside for no other reason but circumstance.

This post is for the newly engaged friend who knew how to bring shy introverted me out of her shell, made every little thing into an adventure and made me laugh on a daily basis, but whose friendship was left behind due to physical distance and, ultimately, a lack of effort from both of us.

It's for the uni girls who I lived with for two years, shared food, clothes and the innermost details of my life with, but who I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to keep in touch with.

For my first ever best friend, the one I started school with, had my first sleepover with and the one who will always feel like a best friend, despite only having seen each other a handful of times in the past ten years.

For the friend I should have been there for, but who I just let slip away when she needed me most.

For my old gym buddy, the one I sweated with, laughed the most with, the one I was there for when she needed me most, but the one who knew as well as I did that our friendship wouldn't last the long haul.

For the childhood friend I looked up to, wrote silly notes about boys with and drank my first beer with. Circumstance took our friendship away, but also brought it back again a few years later. She's the one who almost got away.

I think it's a common opinion that if we're not friends with someone anymore it's because we're not meant to be and that there's always a reason, but I don't think that's necessarily true. I think in different circumstances I could still be friends with any one of those listed above, something that's only proved by the rekindling of the last one. So here's to the friendships we leave behind, but also to not being sad at what could have been because leaving some friendships behind only means we have more time to dedicate to the ones we still have.

Amy x
Share:

18 comments

  1. I can totally relate. I think about the subject a lot lately. There are friends that I used to be so close to, but at some point of our lives, we just grew apart. And there are also new friendships from places that I never thought it could be. I love this post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It happens to everyone and it's such a bittersweet thing! xx

      Delete
  2. Beautiful post Amy! You write so well and it was a joy to read. Some friendships definitely just grow apart, but there are also ones where you can meet up after a year and it feels like you're children again! They are my favourite xx

    www.natalieleanne.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Natalie! I love the ones where it just clicks straight back! xx

      Delete
  3. I love this! It's so true. I think that sometimes friendships can be rekindled with effort!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They definitely can, I always think it's strange just how many people we have the potential to be friends with! xx

      Delete
  4. What a beautiful but bittersweet post! It's always sad looking back and seeing friendships not as strong as they once were, but sometimes you have a true friendship that withstands time and distance and I smile because I have that, I can accept the come and go friendships as I have that true bond that will never change :)

    Hope that you are having a nice start to your week :) We finally got some cooler weather after our weekend heatwave, so I've been enjoying that!

    Away From The Blue Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you've finally got some cooler weather! It is so bittersweet isn't it xx

      Delete
  5. This is a very good post and it is so true that we could be friends with some of our "old" friends, but these days everything is so quick, happens so fast, if someone does't have social media accounts, we lose touch with "friends"... some friends just had another project of life, or we did, and we just move on. Some, we need emotional support, but they only want us for parties. Some, we should offer emotional support, but we are not prepared at the time... it's a complicated topic, for sure, and got me thinking as well... but please don't get too hard on yourself, sometimes it's just life that comes inbetween... for all of us :) Hope you have a nice week!
    DenisesPlanet.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It totally depends on circumstance and where we are in our lives doesn't it, such a complicated topic! xx

      Delete
  6. This is such a beautifully written post, Amy. I completely agree, it's pretty sad to think about how many friendships have slipped away due to circumstance, or even just how we may have been feeling at any particular time. Personally, I had a clean slate after the ol' school days and cut contact with everyone, but since then there have definitely been some true 'good eggs' I wish I'd more effort to stay friends with :) Hope your week has got off to a good start babe! :)

    aglassofice.com
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's sad when it's just circumstance isn't it? If people aren't good for us then it's right to cut them out but it's the ones who just slipped away I get sad about! xx

      Delete
  7. What a lovely post! I'm really struggling with a very old friendship at the moment. My old best friend was never the best at keeping in touch even when we lived in the same city, now I live in Newcastle and she lives in Bristol and we've definitely fizzled out .. I tried to keep it going for a while but then I got tired of it, maybe I should have tried harder or maybe I just need to let it go! Friendships are a funny thing!

    I'm going to stop being sad now because you're right, some friendships just get away and there's no point dwelling on them when you have new friendships to focus on x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are always new friendships to make effort for even if old ones slip away, it's a shame about your old best friend but I'm sure you've got lots of new friendships in Newcastle! xx

      Delete
  8. As I've gone from high school to college and am almost at the end of my college career, I can definitely relate to losing friends because of geography and circumstance. I think the best thing to do is keep an open mind, maybe you'll run into each other again and have a chance to become close once more, and focus on the friendships you do have.

    Shann Eileen | www.shanneileen.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's definitely the potential to rekindle which is nice, but it's important to focus on the ones we have xx

      Delete
  9. This was beautiful Amy! I love how you focused on appreciating these lost friendships for what they were in a positive way - I think the tendency is to think that lost friendships are because of something negative, and almost to refer to them with a bit of animosity or resentment, but while I'm sure some of it is earned, I cant think of a single past friendship I've lost that way, they're all just a case of circumstances changing. Love your point too about being able to rekindle the friendship if circumstances changed - I think that's such a lovely idea and there are definitely a few people in a past life of mine that I think I could still be really good friends with if chance allowed. One of my favourite posts of yours, so well written xxx

    Sophie | Sophar So Good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Sophie, I loved writing it! There are so many people I could still be friends with if things were different! xxx

      Delete

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, I read and reply to every one. Please feel free to leave a link to your blog if you have one as I love finding new reads!

© Call Me Amy | All rights reserved.
Blog Layout Created by pipdig