Wednesday, 4 October 2017

I'm Not Bossing Life And That's OK


I find it incredibly difficult to come up with titles for personal, chatty blog posts that actually encompass everything I'm trying to get across (I find it incredibly difficult to do that in a whole post too to be fair), but I think I've kind of got it with this one. This is one of those topics that has been bubbling under the surface of my 'to write' list for a while, in that I knew there was something to say and that I wanted to say it, but I wasn't quite sure how to actually convey it. That happens a lot and quite often I feel like I try to write posts before they're fully formed ideas and then they don't really make sense. A bit like this opening paragraph really. But why write a quick snappy intro to a post when you could have a long nonsensical paragraph right?

Being a 'girlboss' seems to be the most desirable thing at the moment - you know, having a full time job you're passionate about plus a creative side hustle and on top of that a successful blog and a constantly Instagrammable house and face - all by pure and simple hard work. I admire those people, I really do. The ones who work from 6am until 9pm, the ones who are constantly composed and the ones who just seem to have their shit together (sorry for swearing Mum). I can think of heaps of admirable people who are totally bossing life and I am in complete awe of them. Because I'm not bossing life. I wish I could, but I don't think I have it in me to spread myself so thinly and still do my best at everything.

It's not uncommon to see a tweet, an Instagram caption or even a whole blog post about how someone feels they're struggling. The comparison is too much, the Instagram algorithm is getting to them, they're sick and tired of trying and feeling like they're getting nowhere. We're a generation who work hard, maybe in a different way to how previous generations have done, but we do. And often we don't see much from it, we don't get paid a lot and it can feel like an uphill struggle to do anything worthwhile. We're a generation in danger of burning out. Not only do we want our life to be as full as possible, we want to be exceptionally good at everything we fill it with. We want to be good children to our parents, we want to be the friend who's always there, we want to be amazing at our jobs, in fact we probably want to be amazing at two jobs. I could go on.



My point is, can we be good at all these things? I'm certainly not. I've always been that person who spreads themselves too thinly. When I was younger I had every hobby under the sun, which meant that although I may have been good at a few things, I didn't excel at any because my focus was too wide. And I've just carried that on into life. I have a constant feeling that I'm not a good enough daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, employee, blogger, Instagrammer and rather that I'm just clinging on to all of those things by my fingertips, just about getting by but not doing any of those things as well as I should or could be. And I get the feeling that it's definitely not just me who feels that way.

So I've tried, but I can't 'boss life'. And do you know what? That's really OK. I'm always striving for everything to be better, but maybe the fact that everything is good should be enough. The phrase 'girlboss' raises issues in itself in my opinion. The people who we view as being a girlboss probably feel as though they're simply clinging on as much as we do. And those of us who feel that we're definitely not bossing life are probably actually doing OK. The question to ask is not 'am I bossing life?', but 'am I enjoying life?' and if the answer is yes then you must be doing something right. 



Shirt - Bershka (here) | Jeans - Topshop (here) | Trainers - Pimkie (old)

Amy x
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34 comments

  1. Such a great post Amy, I can totally relate to this. Have a great day! Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. Thank you Gemma! Hope you're having a lovely week xx

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  2. I LOVE this post Amy!! I’m totally with you on not bossing life. It seems being a girl boss is what everyone should aspire to but it’s just not for everyone is it xx

    heart-autumn.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much girl! It's definitely not for everyone, it can really just put too much pressure on! xx

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  3. I totally agree with this post and we definitely need to take a step back sometimes and look at the positives!
    Have a lovely day :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

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    1. Thanks Rosanna, definitely agree about looking at the positives, I need to do more of that :) xx

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  4. Oooh gal I loved this one. I've been thinking recently about if we can really 'have it all' and I struggle to find the right answer, that's probably why I've never wrote the post! Same as you, there are definitely things I do better than others but I think that as long as we're giving our best to whatever we do (80% of the time anyway) that's all we can do xxx

    www.natalieleanne.com

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    1. Oh thank you lovely, it's a tricky one isn't it! I think often we do 'have it all' without realising it but we just always want more and put pressure on ourselves to be even better! xx

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  5. Absolutely love this post Amy, SO well written. You've made so many good points - in particular that we may not work in the same way as past generations, but that we still work *very* hard. The final sentence of your post really hit home; sometimes we can be so wrapped up with how we're 'doing' that we forget life isn't all about that! Beautiful post :)

    aglassofice.com
    x

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    1. Thank you SO much lovely, that's the best compliment! I think some people don't realise that we do work very hard, it is just in a different way! xx

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  6. Yes to this! I often think we are a generation ready for pushing ourselves too hard, too much, but now, I really really prioritise lots of down time too, and I never feel guilty for it!
    Holly xxx /// mrshollycrocker.com
    https://www.mrshollycrocker.com/blog/2017/10/2/monday-musings-on-the-town-where-i-live

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    1. I definitely need to prioritise down time a bit more, sometimes I feel like I never stop! xx

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  7. I loved reading this post! Your shirt is so cute and love the location!
    xo Yvonne
    www.aproposh.com

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    1. Thanks lovely, the shirt is so cute isn't it! xx

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  8. I find very difficult to share personal things on internet :) Sometimes I try, then I delete all :) So I liked your post very much. I think that it's true, we are on the brink of a burnout crisis many times, and it's also true that some girls seem to have a perfect house and life, but what's perfect? What it means for them, may not mean the same for others. And do they really have all that or is it just to pose for social media? I now try to lead life as practical as it can be. I really loved your post and pictures!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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    1. Sometimes I do think a lot of it is for social media and it just makes the rest of us think we're not good enough! Thank you Denise :) xx

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  9. I love this post so much. I feel I can boss some parts of my life, but not all of it and that's okay. I like to have one main focus and plenty of chill out time!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. Yeah definitely, chill out time is so important! And even if you're bossing one aspect of life that's amazing xx

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  10. I read your first sentence and already related SO MUCH. Hahaha I love writing like this but trying to find a title that summarises all of that "rambling" in a very witty, interesting line is borderline impossible.
    The "Girl Boss" thing you mentioned is actually very true; hell, even I aspire to be that all the time! It's always been one of my goals to be able to, as you said it, "boss life", but your words here really resonated with me. This is one of the most well-written and relatable posts I've read in a while. I've been jumping around several different activities myself, so I kind of needed this reminder to just step back and make sure that I'm actually ENJOYING life as it is, not just constantly trying to get to the next level of "girl boss" criteria, if that makes sense. Another quote I can think of is "Do less with more focus", and I think it's a good motto to live by. :)
    Thank you so much for writing this! I've just stumbled upon your blog and you make such wonderful content. I'd love if we can follow each other on Bloglovin maybe? Do let me know <3 happy weekend.

    Joanne | Life in Blue Skies

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    1. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! Do less with more focus is definitely how I need to start living my life! xx

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  11. Girl I LOVED this post; I've been feeling exactly the same lately and absolutely can't agree with you anymore! I've taken a massive step back as I was too burning myself out and realised I can't quite do everything; we put so much pressure on ourselves and it's so easy to become unhappy and feel like you're not good enough!

    Hayley xo
    www.frockmeimfamous.com

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    1. I'm glad you've taken a step back and given yourself a break - you work SO hard! xx

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  12. Oh gosh I feel like this a lot at the moment! This is a great post. Being at my day job and getting home at 8pm and then feeling too tired to do all the ideas I had in my head all day, and instead collapsing on the sofa with Netflix and chocolate... it makes me feel like a failure. But really it's just not realistic and sometimes you have to let some things go.

    I've shuffled a few things round like getting my work outs done in the morning (hello 5:30am wake up!) and not really doing much socially during the weekdays, but I'm learning to let myself know it's ok just to stay at home and catch up on sleep from time to time.

    http://pollyrowan.com/

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    1. Oh wow a 5.30 wake up call is very motivated of you! It's definitely important to have a realistic head and never feel like a failure - sleep is definitely important! xx

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  13. Love this post!! Totally relate to feeling like you’re not “bossing” life at times! Also to having ideas in a to-do list of posts but then not being fully formed yet - and if you can’t tell already I also love a good long, nonesensical paragraph ��

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    1. I'm glad you can relate! And I love a nonsensical paragraph haha xx

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  14. I totally relate to this. I'm all for not bossing life but enjoy it. I know I am not perfect at everything. I know my aspirations but it is okay to achieve them in your own time.
    Loved this post!
    Aditi

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    1. Definitely, don't put undue pressure on yourself! Glad you have that mindset xx

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  15. Finally! A blogger who doesn't put a warped, and unrealistic, image of themselves forward in every post! I think it's so important to remember that your life isn't based off people's reaction to your social media image, such as this #girlbosses put forward. Like you said, it'll lead to burnout, when in reality, people should be focusing on balance! I've literally just posted a similar blog today, about taking a step backwards in life, and me not allowing it to damage my ego!
    Bekki / www.filler-chapters.com

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    1. Aw thank you so much lovely! I definitely think social media plays a big part in the amount of pressure we put on ourselves! xx

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  16. Such a great post! You're right, there is such an emphasis on being a girl boss and I feel like if you don't fall into that category people look at you as if something is wrong with you. I'm not perfect with time management, I'm okay, but not great...And honestly, I don't want to be. I'm happy with doing things at my own pace, I'm with you, I'm afraid of stretching myself too thin and creating unnecessary stress for myself. Thank you for this post and thank you for showing us that not all bloggers/women have it 100% together! xo <3 <3

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    1. You definitely shouldn't put undue pressure on yourself if you're happy going at your own pace - it's so important to not stretch yourself too thin, we've all got to stay sane! Thanks for a lovely comment xx

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