Sunday, 22 October 2017

Getting Back Up After a Confidence Knock


Whether you're a shy little bean like me (not quite sure where that description came from, but I'm rolling with it) or a super confident sass queen, we all suffer the occasional confidence knock (I mean, if you are a shy little bean like me then you probably suffer more than an occasional one let's be honest). Knocks to your confidence aren't the nicest thing - personally they leave me with a knotted stomach of doubt in myself and a whirring brain of self critical thoughts, ranging from 'I should never wear a short skirt again because ew legs' to 'I should probably just quit my job because I'm clearly not very good at it.' As someone who is getting fairly used to these little knocks of confidence I've built up a few ways of getting back up after them and carrying on.

P E R S P E C T I V E | Usually it's the little things that we can get bogged down in isn't it? Maybe you overheard someone saying they don't like your dress, maybe you were told that there was room for improvement in a task you did at work or maybe you just spilt coffee all down yourself just as you were about to leave the house (the latter happens to me more than I care to admit). These little things all have a bigger impact on our mood than they should so it's always a good idea to look at the bigger picture. The thing that has knocked your confidence is tiny in the long run, will probably be forgotten down the line and might even make you stronger.


B R O O D | Have an evening in on the sofa with blankets, your cats (if you have them, if you don't I would recommend getting some as they're particularly helpful in this situation) and a big bar of chocolate. Let yourself feel rubbish for a bit because the ritual of treating yourself to a night off will benefit your mood in the long run. Reflecting on what has knocked your confidence will quite often end up making you feel better as you begin to put it into perspective too. 

S E G M E N T A L I S E | I totally thought I'd just made up a word, but it turns out that segmentalise is actually in the dictionary so no points to me for that one. I like to think of my life in segments. There's a family segment, a friendship segment, a relationship segment, a career segment...you get the idea. So hey, maybe someone rained on your parade at work, but are you healthy? Do you have a loving family and friendship group? I always find it helpful to focus my energy on the good segments when I'm not feeling my most confident. 

S A S S | Almost as if you've just broken up with a guy and want to show him what he's missing, the next day throw on your favourite dress, some red lipstick or just whichever outfit makes you feel like the best version of you then head out with the sassiest attitude you can muster because if you can convince other people that you feel great you might just be able to convince yourself too.




In keeping with the last point, I wore my current sassiest outfit for this post, which is this beaut denim culotte jumpsuit from Asos. I'd had my eye on it for a while, but couldn't justify the price then the dream that is the Asos sale came along and it was a very attractive £22 so I snapped it up and I'm oh so glad that I did.

Jumpsuit - Asos (here) | Shoes - Next (old) | Bag - Primark (old)

What do you do to make yourself feel better after a confidence knock?

Amy x
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28 comments

  1. omg i love this outfit on you! this would look awful on me! i have tired so many! i love love love this! thanks for sharing!! you are so pretty !!

    jadieegosh

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    1. Aw I'm sure it wouldn't look awful on you, but you've got to feel comfortable in something :) x

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  2. I love a good brood and always feel better afterwards, like I can start afresh with a new perspective! xx

    www.natalieleanne.com

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    1. Exactly! It's much better than trying to brush it aside I find! xx

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  3. Great post and tips! Love your jumpsuit :) Hope you are having a lovely weekend.

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. Thanks so much Gemma, hope you had a lovely weekend xx

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  4. You look so stylish! I've had a few of these knocks in the past weeks, but I think it's just part of what we have to go through. Staying confident and knowing that you can grow and learn from these experiences is most important. I really admire the honesty of your writing xx

    Sending light & love your way,
    My Lovelier Days | Bloglovin’

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    1. Aw thank you so so much lovely, that really means a lot! I definitely think we can grow and learn from our experiences xx

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  5. I'm always having a crises of confidence and it's been especially bothering me at the moment but my secret is fake it til you make it haha! Also the things I and most people feel insecure over are usually nothing anyone else notices anyway. These are great tips, a little brood is always needed x

    What Josie Did Next

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    1. Yeah that's so true that nobody else ever notices our insecurities! I definitely think fake it til you make it! Hope you're feeling OK lovely xx

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  6. Aaah just reading you describe the confidence knocks makes me feel queasy, I hate them so much. Like I started a part time job a few days back and literally nearly cried on the way home I hated it so much. I'm trying to see it through, but in all honesty I'll have probably quit by next week. I love these tips though, the little quip about being with blankets and cats is perfect - just like your outfit! You look incredible.

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. Oh no, I hope your new job gets better, I totally get how you feel! xx

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  7. Hi Amy! I really appreciate the honesty of your post and I love your writing style! I think 'shy little bean' is a valid description! I could relate to the things you said, as I constantly struggle with self-doubt and critique my every action. So I'm going to bookmark your blog post and keep it as a reminder to be a little less hard on myself.

    I adore your denim jumpsuit and it suits you perfectly. You look fabulous!

    Lots of love Saba xx

    www.trulymadlydeeplyfashion.blogspot.com

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    1. Aw I'm so glad this might be a handy reference point for you in future, thank you so much for a lovely comment! xx

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  8. The stomach in knots and the whirring brain are common feelings for me as well - this post is oh so relatable! My brain just looooves to bring up memories of times I've had my confidence knocked just as I'm trying to go to sleep, which is always simply delightful! 🙃 I think your advice is golden though, especially when it comes to segmentalising - I had an annoyingly bad day in one department today but focusing on the segments which are bringing me joy right now really helped! You look gorgeous as always and I'm glad you snagged that ASOS beauty in the sale!

    Abbey 💕 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Oh god I do that when I'm going to sleep too - self doubt loves to creep up like that doesn't it! I hope your day is better today lovely :) xx

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  9. You look amazing in this jumpsuit Amy! Love the words of positivity in this post, particularly dealing with a confidence knock with sass, haha. I had a bit of a knock-back yesterday actually while at the gym. While on the mats, my headphones disconnected and I could hear a couple of girls next to me being pretty savage about my hip bones and how disgusting they found them. NOT the best day, won't lie haha. Thankfully I get over things pretty quickly, but all the same, I'll 100% be taking your advice on board :) Have a lovely week!

    aglassofice.com
    x

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    1. Whaaat that's awful! Bitchiness is the worst, I'm glad you don't let it get to you too much, you're gorgeous girl xx

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  10. Love your jumsuit, you look so pretty! :)

    MERI WILD BLOG

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    1. Aw thank you so much, firm favourite in my wardrobe at the moment! xx

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  11. Segmentalise - I really like that!
    I sometimes really batter myself on all areas of life, when actually it's just one thing that's "going wrong" if you like and crushing me... I like this point and will remember it always! Thank you!
    Holly xxx /// www.mrshollycrocker.com
    https://www.mrshollycrocker.com/blog/2017/10/23/my-ta-da-list-2

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    1. Yeah that's why I like to do it otherwise I'll end up taking out the one bad part on all the other parts too! xx

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  12. Sometimes just having a good night out with loved ones where I can feel sassy again really does help!

    xx

    http://rhymeandribbons.com

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    1. Definitely! Being around friends is such a mood booster! xx

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  13. I never heard of segmentalise, but if you say it is in the dictionary, I trust you and I liked it! It's true, there are steps to recover confidence... don't hear the ones who put you down. They may be sad within themselves and say things that hurt others. I loved your romper, really so beautiful! You look great! I hope you have a nice day!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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    1. I definitely agree with that! Thanks so much Denise x

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  14. Forgot to comment on this at the time, but I fricking loved it! I'm actually going to have a big old brood tonight haha. You look amazing in this jumpsuit and I cant believe it was such a bargain! xxx

    Sophie | Sophar So Good

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    1. Ah thanks girl, I hope you're OK and that your brood made you feel better! xx

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